An unidentified swimmer surveys the bleak surroundings at Miraleste Intermediate School
Since we go to swim meets all over Los Angeles, Orange and Ventura County, I thought I might start reviewing the pools for future families who might want a handy guide before spending the entry fees.
My son had a meet today, so we spent the afternoon in lovely Rancho Palos Verdes, an enclave south of town that seems to have been a presidio at some point. A couple of thousand feet in elevation, it overlooks the city to the Northeast, and the largest harbor in the Western Hemisphere to the south, with dense foliage hiding the fact that there’s only a few roads in and out. Hence the enclave.
But, the ethnically diverse swimming families made it up the long, snaking drive to the top of the mountain to the well-funded middle school, just as the weather cleared up. We discovered that on a clear day you could see halfway to Mexico from the parking lot, as a thin finger of high pressure had made its way to the Southland between last week’s storm and the deluge that is hammering my roof, even as I write this.
Unfortunately, you can’t see anything through the dirty, ten-foot fence that surrounds the pool. A few orange jumpsuits and the place would be Guantanamo Bay. One parent said it looked like Joliet State Prison, though how he knew remains a mystery. Maybe they’re taking the Presidio thing to too far.
Anyway, here’s the 10-point review:
1. While a small meet, parking was limited and it was a Sysiphean climb up the parking lot. Drop your kid off with the folding chairs if you want to live.
2. Bring some shade. I know it’s fun to hang out on a Middle School blacktop, but only on graduation night in the dark. It was a roasting pan with wind.
3. All the kids said the pool tasted salty, but it wasn’t a salt water pool. Eww.
4. The backstroke flags are at a weird distance from the wall, so all the kids were either smacking their wrists on the wall or gliding in like old ladies. There was a lot of sidestroke going on among the 10-and-unders.
5. Not much to buy. I know it’s not the focus of the meet, but it’s always good for keeping the kids happy. You know if the guy that sells Crocs and goggles doesn’t show up, you deserve a gold star for making the trek.
6. The boy’s bathroom hadn’t been cleaned since the Nixon administration. That ammonia smell was au naturel. Maybe it drained into the pool, hence the salty taste.
7. The Lane 7 starting block wobbled disconcertingly. I thought the fat kid from Downey was going to rip it out at the roots.
8. The food was pretty good, but they served it in a room that must be where they teach health classes, because there were unappetizing, student-made life-size figures on the wall that illustrated the dangers of drinking. There were a lot of misspellings – a little more grammar and a little less construction paper would be in order – one figure had the unfortunate label “dizyniss, alkolhol, and barfeing.” Maybe the kids were talking from experience and were still hungover when they got out their safety scissors.
9. They made the timers stay for the distant events. Usually, the judges let us go and make the parents of the swimmers do the timing. The distance swimmers were shocked and confused to see people when they finally finished.
10. There was an event and heat sign on constant display, a godsend for any coach, parent or timer who is otherwise under constant questioning by anyone in a Speedo.
Anyway, a lot of the dads found the asphalt comfortable enough to sleep on, so I guess I’d give the Miraleste Intermediate School Pool a 4 ½ out of 10.
