Performance Anxiety

While the rest of Hollywood wonders when the strike will be over, I can’t stop wondering about what it’s going to be like to get back to work.

Maybe that’s because most shows are out of production. But Jay is doing shows, he just happens to be doing them without us. Feels weird now, and it seems like it’s going to get weirder once we get to write again.

I miss it. Why else would I be putting up jokes on this blog? Because I love writing them. Most people don’t go around saying how much they love their job, and for good reason: because they don’t. They’re lucky if they even like going to work. But I know how lucky I am and I can’t wait to get back to it.

Things are going to be different back at the show. I know it’s never going to be the same. While we (the writers) have no control over any of this situation, at least we belong to the union at its center. Our friends inside must feel like they are at the whims of someone else’s fight. That kind of uncertainty can wear on a person, to put it mildly.

Now that The Tonight Show is back in production, it is clear to the writers that the staff is working like mad to deliver a show every night. Everybody’s getting their direction straight from Jay, which must be intimidating and stressful, no matter how great he is. He’s under the gun, and everyone wants to perform for him. It can’t be easy.

I wish we could go back in, turn on our computers and carry on, business as usual, with the strike only looming as a distant, bad dream. I also wish I could spontaneously lose 30 pounds, but that ain’t going to happen either.

It’s going to be rough (going back, not losing the weight). Some folks will probably blame us for the actions of the Guild, because we’re the only writers they know. The rhythm of thinking of an idea on Monday, pitching it on Tuesday, shooting it on Wednesday, editing on Thursday and airing on Friday is going to be hard to get back. The writers have a lot of responsibilities that lay outside the strict act of writing, and our friends inside have all shouldered those tasks for the sake of putting on the show.

Before the strike, there were plenty of stressful days, late nights, and frustrations both petty and epic. I’ll take ‘em all and more just to get back to business as usual.

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